The very wrong reality of the Child Headed Household

Note from Heather Yourex:

I'm on a real computer!!!! Woo Hoo.

Today I spent the day at the Lula centre. Its a daycare in Masoyi (which is actually smaller than I thought - population 220, 000). The Lula centre opened 4 years ago with the help of Hands at Work and at the heart of it is Ma Beauty.

Ma Beauty is a gigantic woman with an amazing amount of heart. I had heard so much about her that when I saw her I ended up running right into her arms.

Oh... I should back up to the morning meeting. And - no offense guys - this one kicked the 9:00 news meeting ass. ;). The Masoyi home based care workers were having a prayer meeting and so 30 of us crowded into the Masoyi office. Half of the team got to be apart of the meeting and we and 2 others were the only westernes there. They sang... every day is filled with so much singing. Gospel songs where everyone sings in harmony 10-12 part harmony. In Siswati and English... and then prayer requests. The requests alone will break your heart... for orphans, for the care workers, for travellers, for a couple in the Congo who just lost their baby. By the end of the meeting, a few of us were in tears.

I spent my day at the lula centre in the kitchen with Ma. She cooks the entire day... and the kids have half a jam sandwich with ovaltine fortified tea in the morning, a traditional lunch that today was hard pap (maize flour and water) with soup (beans, macaroni, tomato paste and vegetables) and cabbage and carrots. Then in the afternoon - another half peanut butter/jam sandwich and juice. At around 1 pm... older kids begin arriving - including a helper in the kitchen 19 year old Floyd.

Floyd was a pretty typical teenager... we washed dish after dish, a served up meal after meal together. Chatting about cars, and sports and Kanye West. He was a really cool guy who is in grade 10, struggles with english (if I could just get a dictionary it would help), likes phyics and plans to be a mechanical engineer. (If I can be a manager with the local power company I can get a BMW in 3 months - he has a photo of the dream car on his cell phone). Its starting to feel like a normal day... there's running water, plenty of food for everyone.

Of course... things aren't what they seem to be.

Before lunch I'm playing with some kids when a "go-go" or grandmother came to say hello. Her name is Joanna... and she has two children here at Lula. The kids are going on a field trip to Kruger Park on friday so many of the caregivers were there for a meeting. In total Joanna has 7 grandchildren in her care... one great grandchildren. Both her daughters have died in HIV in the last two years. She pointed to two little girls... Pretty and Princess. Princess she tells me has HIV.

Later - a white woman with a strong south african accent drops by. She works at the ACTS clinic and is here to check in on an out patient. We chat and she points to a little boy on a tricycle... an active boy I'd been chasing a little earlier. He has HIV, she tells me, 6 months ago he was so sick, so thin - we didn't think he was going to make it. Now - he's on ARV's and tearing around the yard like all the other boys.

And then - there was Lloyd himself. This totally sweet teenager - good looking - spending his afternoons volunteering at Lula. I finally asked - dude, why are you here?

He looked at me.

Because I'm an orphan - he simply said.

The ride home was probably the hardest part of the day. My eyes were burning with tears by the time we pulled back on to campus. The busses are driven by Hands at Work drivers and they take the children to their homes around the community.

Little children... 2 year olds sleeping on the seats... and when we get to their drop off points.

Nobody to meet them.

That sleeping toddler... met by an 8 year old girl. Giggling with her friends. Peter - the driver - tells me, they have an older sister. Still, even she is only 15.

And the image that is brightest in my mind today. The image I caught in a quick photo. 3 kids, ages 4-6 off the bus by themselves - right next to the busy highway taking each other by their tiny little hands and walking away.

Alone.

I waved and the little girl that refused to talk to me or really smile all day. The little girl who I just kind of grabbed and held on to. Turned and saw me waving in the front seat - and she actually smiled. I blew them kisses and the little boy gave me a thumbs up.

Then they kept walking.

They call them Child headed house holds... how on earth is this right?